Monday, February 13, 2006

Taking Root

Since we've moved to Amarillo, there's been a bit of a tug of war going on inside me as to whether or not I should put down roots here. I didn't really realize the resistance I had to settling in until I realized I was dreading getting Texas license plates for my car. How weird is that? It's like I want to be identified as a "foreigner" still, even though I live here now. I think I've been hanging on to some small piece of something that might even be construed as hope that we might not be here long and so I shouldn't get comfortable. I'm sure part of that comes from the fact that we never really got to settle into our last job, so maybe this will have a similar turnout. But at the same time, the thought of staying here only a short time makes me sad too because, like it or not, I've bonded with several people here already. The longer we've been here, the more I've realized that it's difficult not to put down roots because we ultimately long to be comfortable, familiar, and accepted where we are. And I've come to the conclusion that it's wrong of me to resist putting down my roots where my God has planted me. If I don't put down roots, then how can I grow? So, Amarillo, here's to a long or short relationship, but a piece of me and my family is officially a part of your landscape. We'll bloom as best we can for as long as we're here.

5 comments:

Arlene Kasselman said...

Gosh, I can relate to your feelings about this. I did the same, just for longer. However, the joy and blessing that has come with my "giving in" and giving God control of my life time line has been incredible.
And don't worry, no one is going to think you are local...not as long as you are asking questions like, "what does FM... mean on a road sign" and "do you have a Rockfish Grill around here" or "What is Mexican Pile on" etc etc. Now magnify that and add a really weird accent and you know how we feel!!!
We are glad you are here! Don't leave yet.
And remember, Siana is well, officailly a Texan, born in Amarillo - got the blankie to prove it sister. No denying. Uh-huh, no siree.

Arlene Kasselman said...

Being foreign does not mean I do not know how to spell "officially" that would just be bad typing. Oops.

Nicole said...

Hmmm... some very deep thoughts, yet VERY true. Do you know that I still cannot accept after 5 years that I am a Kentuckian or that both my kids have KY birth certificates?!?!I pray everyday that God will grow me and use me, yet, deep down I'm not sure if I really mean it. Because afterall, if I grow and get used that means then I am part of this strange and odd place and I don't know if I want to be. I am still holding out that He will move us either more South or closer to family:)

My very favorite verse is Proverbs 16:3 "In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps." Guess I should start living it:)

Glad you decided to "give in" sooner than later. You are so amazing and have so much to offer. God will use you no matter where you are.

Here's to: "Letting go and letting God.

Dana said...

I am so proud of you. You have done in three months or so what it often takes me 12 years to do! You always were very wise in your thinking and your choices. God put you there for a reason and he doesn't want you to be unhappy or alone. So make your life there for as long as it is meant to be and Indiana will be here whenever you can come home.

I love you, Angel.
Mama

Aidan said...

I'm proud of you, too. YOu never know whether or not you can put down roots until you try (or whether you SHOULD put them down). That's the monster of the system, but it's true. You have to test the waters. ;)